Dear Procurement Agent in Charge of Happy Meal Toys:
Thank you for your tireless work ensuring that we slacker-moms moms on-the-go can provide our children with a never-ending supply of cheap chinese crap marketing materials toys representing the latest blockbuster animated flick.
I find myself curious as to what will be inside the little meal sack or box (depending upon the promotion...) and find myself speculating on the latest plastic whimsy while in the drive-up line. Will this one have a tinny electronic element to it? What will it say--will it do anything? Are there lots of parts?
Now, the reason that I am writing you is that I have to ask...are you sitting back in your cubicle just laughing your ass off right now? You are, aren't you? I would be. Damn, what a coup! I'd high five you if I worked with you. Hell, I'd take you out for drinks. How the hell did you manage to get away with putting a d*ldo in my kid's Happy Meal?
I have to tell you--I giggled all the way home. Especially when my son said, "His name is Bob." "No...it isn't," I said, hopefully. That would just be too rich. So, while stopped at a red light, I checked out the package the toy came in. "B.O.B." was printed clearly on the plastic bag. But this one's not battery-operated. It's a wind-up version!
I'm sure you're receiving a lot of complaints about this--but I'm not complaining. How could I? I'm too busy bursting out laughing every time I think about the damn thing! As far as my kids are concerned--this is just a movie character--nothing more, nothing less. They have no idea why the blue-jelly color and the little nodes on this 'one-eyed monster' make me giggle like a teenager. The curve? Genius. Rotating? Oh. My. God. I see this thing going across the floor, one goofy eye spinning round, and my son has no idea why I find this so hilarious.
Which, of course, makes it even funnier. So, I thank you for making my Tuesday evening so amusing, and for giving me something to giggle about.
Best Regards,
Giggling Greta
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